Saturday, March 8, 2008

Wait, I am AWAKE!

Posted By on Sat, Mar 8, 2008 at 1:11 AM

Okay, so it is never a good idea to watch a DVD when the box garnishes the quote, “Awake does for operations what Jaws did for the beach.”  Awake features the most ludicrous story line possible, except for maybe Lindsay Lohan’s I Know Who Killed Me.  The movie opens with a type of factual documentation of “anesthetic awareness,” which rivals most documentaries opening clarifications.  This occurrence is when a surgery patient is paralyzed physically, but still remains conscious of the surgical procedure.  So, this does not sound so bad, but add total out of body experiences where the patient can actually wander around and figure out who killed them  (unfortunately, just like Lohan),  and we have completely  reinvented the medically proven experience of “anesthetic awareness.”

Horrible acting and just a flat out stupid premise makes this film unbearable.  Hayden Christensen, who I only can pray is descent in Jumper, is a rich New Yorker with a weak heart, but of course, not weak enough to not have a hidden affair going on with Jessica Alba.  I must stray for a moment to say that I would be hard pressed to name a more horrible actor than Ms. Alba. Even Jessica Simpson seems to have more range.  Maybe that is too harsh, but does anyone forget a movie like Honey?   When I rant about Alba, many people like to remind me of Dark Angel and the sort of cult following that ensued.  My response to any demands that I should recognize her for her work in this TV sci-fi series would only be that it cannot be very hard to play the living dead when your acting is just dead.  And, what happened to Terrence Howard?  He comes out swinging with an Oscar nomination for Hustle & Flow and then gets the Cuba Gooding syndrome and starts taking any script sent his way.  In Awake, Howard is the surgeon who will perform a heart transplant on Christensen’s character, against the wishes of Christensen’s mother (played by Lena Olin).  Here is where it gets just plain silly.  Christensen is like a young Donald Trump and we are supposed to believe that he would allow a team of surgeons, at what looks to be a local urgent care clinic in Manhattan, do a heart transplant for him?  Also, we are told that Howard’s surgeon has had four malpractice suits against him, making it even more unbelievable that Christensen would find his “friendship” enough to risk a successful transplant.

Whenever there is money involved, there is likely to be deceit.  Of course, in Awake what Christensen discovers in his state of anesthetic awareness is that Howard and his surgical team is plotting to kill the young tycoon.  Although, to some the discovery that Alba, the love interest, is not on the up-and-up, may be shocking, to others it seems like the same old recipe to another ridiculous thriller.  Not to ruin this movie for anyone, but the martyrdom of the mother by the end almost turns Awake into a spoof of  The Sixth Sense.  If you do not want to place yourself in an “anesthetic awareness” where you are paralyzed with stupidity, please don’t watch this film.  Count backwards from ten and make sure you are completely unconscious!

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