New Orleans, I know youre mad at me. I watch the news and read the paper, grudgingly, and god knows I saw that story in the New York Times. Talk about embarrassing. I mean, really my mom, a Floridian, reads that. What I cant figure out is, why? Why all the hate, NOLA? One minute, were getting along great, sharing shrimp po-boys and Hansens Sno-Blizes and taking sunset walks in the Quarter, and the next, all I see are media members calling me a "distressing," "startling" "sham." What gives, people? Along with national humiliation and nightly accusations of fraud by some dude, Lee Zurik, who Ive never even met, I now have the feds breathing down my neck for lord knows what. Hey, Lee, thanks for that. Enjoy your promotion you can send the thank-you card to Noah Bonaparte Pais c/o Gambit Weekly, 3923 Bienvi Wha? New Orleans Affordable huh? Yeah, sure next youre gonna tell me all that positive press wasnt directed at me, either! Psh, whateve Wait, youre saying there really is a New Orleans Adolescent Hospital and a New Orleans Alliance for Hope? OK, thanks, good to know. Carry on.