Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Goodfellas - Meh. The Goodkids - YES!!!

Posted By on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 3:57 AM

Stop multi-tasking right now and check out this footage from Sunday’s second line parade. These children will take your world-weary heart, filet it ever so gently, letting all the dark fantasies of destruction befalling the mayor, your co-workers and your man’s baby momma come oozing out so that the immaculate love of unicorns, kittens, rainbows, and Michelle, Sasha and Malia Obama can reign free over your soul, taking you higher and higher…(for at least 2:13 minutes). LOOK AT THESE BOO BOOS TEARING IT UP, WILL YOU!?!? I swear, if you ever read a story about a crazy red lady kidnapping little brown kids you would do well to send the po po my way. It was all I could do to keep from snatching one of these children, taking them home where I would sit them down with a text book (My Aunt Hortense used to say since kids don’t have to work or pay bills, they should ALWAYS be studying!), put on my bootleg copy of ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’, and throw together a quick but nutritious snack platter featuring pig lips, spicy popcorn and blue popsicles. You have no idea the restraint I showed.

I especially love the 1:15 minute mark where the one girl throws her fans on the ground, challenges the grand marshal to a battle dance, then drops it like it’s hot into a side split – girl was in it to win it! Her opponent, however, was not duly impressed. She ended her dance number with a beauty pageant air kiss and a fluff of the hair - HA! Cause in the end, it’s still about HER! Can I just tell you she was me 500 years ago: fass-n-flirty attitude, rocking nerdy glasses, doing splits in the middle of the street… Actually, that’s still me minus the splits in the streets. But let one of those Goodfellas come at me sweating and scowling like below, he’s gonna get street splits and then some!

Speaking of which, I’d hoped to be able to show you how the Goodfellas Social Aid and Pleasure Club rolls but I couldn’t get one moment of hype outta those good looking brothers. Something musta went down in that juke joint they stopped in around the 3rd quarter of the parade cause they came out wearing salty and disgusted looks, not a buckjump to be had in the entire bunch. What could be that bad? I heard the Aint’s Saints won – PERK the F up!! Granted I did arrive late to the parade and I saw some photos later where it looked like they mighta tore it up during the first half. I don’t know… Anyway, I’m a sucker for a brother with a mean mug so I processed their blues video to enjoy at my leisure. I’m posting it at the bottom of this report in case you’ve already had enough sads for one Monday.

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