Photograph by Jonathan Bachman
Gold Man! Fighter of the G-Men! Champion of the Dome! He's a master of Fleur de Lis and gumbo for everyone!
In the quiet mist of a Louisana morning, a cool 80-degree fall breeze clears the haze in front of a glistening figure of majesty. His steps are heavy yet graceful. He appears as a soothing terror, a tormentor of all those opposed to the values of Black and Gold.
He is Gold Man, the Painted Crusader, here to vanquish the foes from the north with the might of his Golden Howl and laser nipples in the name of Who Dats everywhere.
/Flashback - Golden Boy, hero boy, where are you? Golden Boy, you are gold, what's stopping you? Golden Boy, fear no one, we have come to save you! You have grown and you have come to save us? What's the word, Golden Boy, we have missed you.
Normal Boy found Golden paint and tripped in it. Normal Boy, dipped in gold, now he's normal no more. Golden Boy now is born and his soul is blooms and glows. Golden Boy, he grows up, is a Gold Man and will save us all!
He was once a Golden Boy but now he is a great Gold Man. Fighter of the G-Men. Champion of the Dome. He's a master of Who Dats and crawfish for everyone.
Gold Man! (Not to be confused with Day Man. Though, to be fair, Gold Man totally ripped off Day Man's song.)
Fantastic! In my neighborhood! Yum.
is your penis an "innie"
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