Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Who dat Who Dat: Conehead Edition

Posted by on Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 12:06 PM

click to enlarge Conehead Saints Fan

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Photograph by Jonathan Bachman

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Foosbart did not immigrate to Earth from the planet Remulak and choose to live in New Orleans by choice. No, it was that according to Foozbart it was the most famous coneheads, Beldar and his family, that ruined any chance of leading a normal, New York City life.

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"Whoever was in charge of casting the family to play themselves in that stupid movie should be shot," Foosbart said, in between chugging kegs of beer. "First of all, not all coneheads speak like that. Listen to me, my diction is both colloquial and casual."

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But it wasn't just his semi-normal diction that caught people off guard. When the movie "Coneheads" came out in 1993 and gave the world a glimpse of Remulak-American life, everyone stated to notice Foosbart and asking him to do his best Beldar impression. The film ended up parodying the people from Remulaks in a way Foosbart found offensive.

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"It was degrading," he said. "Beldar's a complete schmuck. And, between you and me, has a smaller-than-average cone."

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All of a sudden, Foosbart - who had lived a quiet, unassuming life as a conceptual artist in Brooklyn - was being singled out because of his cone. This despite living in a city he described as having "3 million of the most deformed freaks I've ever seen. And I've been to Uranus." It eventually drove him mad and he moved down to New Orleans, the only other city with enough food to fulfill his Remulakan appetite.

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"I'm the Joey Chestnut of coneheads," he boasted. "I've been the Remulakan Hippo-Eating Champion seven years running."

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Immediately Foosbart fell in love with the city, its food and its football team. Pretty soon he got a Fleur de Lis tattooed to his cone, fell in love with a lovely Cajun girl from the city and he's had season tickets ever since. What's more, nobody in New Orleans has ever shown him any prejudice because of his cone.

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"Most people don't even notice at first," he said. "I thought there were some crazy characters in New York, but man, down here there are people made of silver!"

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