How fortunate we are in Louisiana to have Our Beloved Supreme Leader, Jind Il-Sung, bless us with his brilliant governance! If any should doubt how beloved he is, let them read the results of his latest “internal poll,” which shows half of our state’s voters — the smarter half, no doubt — approve of the job he is doing. That is a startling turnaround from the dismal 37 percent (or lower) approval rating that “independent” polls reported just months ago.
See, everything really is perfect in the People’s Democratic Republic of Louisiana, thanks to Our Beloved Supreme Leader.
What’s that, you say? Our Beloved Supreme Leader’s poll was biased, skewed in his favor by under-sampling black voters and over-sampling white Republicans? Only enemies of the Republic would propagate such nonsense.
Yes, it is true that Louisiana’s electorate is 64 percent white and 31 percent black. And it is equally true that the poll, taken by OnMessage, the political consulting group led by Our Beloved Supreme Leader’s right-hand man and home-schooled left-brainer, Timmy Teepell, had a sample that was 67 percent white and merely 22 percent black. But, as Team Jind assures us, black folks don’t vote in proportionate numbers, so why should their opinions count when measuring how beloved is Our Beloved Supreme Leader?
It’s more than a tad ironic that Gov. Bobby Jindal penned a syrupy paean to New Orleans last week — hailing us as “America’s Comeback City” — when he’s doing everything he can to make sure that New Orleans will be surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico by the end of this century.
Jindal is moving heaven and earth, politically, to derail the Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East’s (SLFPA-E) lawsuit against energy companies for their role in accelerating coastal land loss. If he succeeds, New Orleans will more aptly be dubbed “America’s Washed Away City.”
No one should be surprised by Jindal’s duplicity. He has never let irony, or truth, or even a fundamental sense of right and wrong stand in the way of his ambition. And right now his ambition tells him to do whatever he can to ingratiate himself to the energy companies that he hopes will help bankroll his future political moves.
In late July, SLFPA-E sued 97 oil, gas and pipeline companies that have carved up Louisiana’s coast for the past eight decades, seeking to make them pay their fair share of the costs of repairing the marshes and protecting southeast Louisiana against the increased risks of flooding. Ever since, Jindal and his wetlands czar Garret Graves have been trying to put the kibosh on the lawsuit.
They tried to intimidate commissioners, who voted unanimously to file the lawsuit, into changing their minds. That didn’t work. Jindal now hopes to replace commissioners whose terms have expired, particularly historian John Barry, who has been outspoken in favor of the litigation. Barry, who wrote Rising Tide, is one of the nation’s leading authorities on flood control policy.
Came home from the grocery store this pm to a passed out waiter on my front lawn. Took my daughter and I 45 mins. to figure out who he was.— Mary B. Sonnier (@ChefMarySonnier) June 29, 2013
First it giveth, then it taketh away. Newspapers are dead and buried then return to a daily schedule. New Orleans Pelicans come and go within minutes. Prison donuts are a thing and likely will not be anymore. The right and left react to landmark decisions in Texas and D.C. A $100 brunch institution shuffles off this mortal coil. Service industry employees slumber in unusual ways. Governors — do they poop?
In this week's delayed edition of Y@ Speak (not what you expected, right?), New Orleans examines what is real, or really real, and whether they're, you know, cool about it. If not, one can always seek refuge in Target on the West Bank, where the celebrities go.
House Bill 8, authored by state Rep. Jeff Thompson, R-Bossier City, prohibits the publishing of personal information of concealed handgun permit holders. Mother Jones wrote about the considerable pushback the bill received from the Louisiana press — Advocate executive editor Carl Redman said, "I find it very ironic that the very people who screamed the loudest about attempts to limit their Second Amendment rights are here eager to limit my First Amendment rights." Another of Thompson’s bills, House Bill 98, allows sheriffs to accept concealed handgun permits issued by sheriffs in neighboring parishes.
House Bill 6, from state Rep. John Schroder, R-Covington, allows off-duty officers to carry firearms on school campuses. Senate Bill 135 and House Bill 717 require people denied the right to carry a firearm to be reported to the state Supreme Court, which adds their information to the federal National Instant Criminal Background Check System database. Senate Bill 178 from state Sen. Neil Reiser, R-Columbia, allows firearms retailers to offer voter registration forms at the register.
“Today is a great day not just for our state, but for law-abiding gun owners across Louisiana,” Jindal wrote in a June 20 statement. “We’re signing new laws relating to gun ownership and our Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms.
“But we’re not just signing a few bills — we’re also celebrating the Sportsman’s Paradise and American values. In the face of an administration in Washington that wants to take away the rights of law-abiding gun owners, we are standing up for the Second Amendment and the Constitution of the United States here in Louisiana.”
In May, Jindal also signed House Bill 265, which creates a lifetime concealed handgun permit.
Gov. Bobby Jindal's "bedwetting," "big-boy pants" op-ed in today's Politico had lots of advice and proscriptions for the national GOP, and certainly got Jindal renewed national attention (though it surely left some amused at Jindal's choice of incontinent metaphor). In the middle of it, Jindal took a sardonic swipe at "the smart guys in Washington," and now one of the D.C. smart guys in the press corps, Ezra Klein of The Washington Post's Wonkblog — is taking a swipe back at the governor:
That’s how the GOP becomes the stupid party: Republican Party elites like Jindal convince Republican Party activists of things that aren’t true.
(That's from a piece titled "Bobby Jindal is the Republican Party's Problem," which is, I suppose, the sort of thing you'd expect a "smart guy in Washington" to write.)
In Paw-Paw's day, "elite" used to mean "the best" (or the self-selected "best") — but today "elite" is a fighting word. Just six months ago, Jindal was sniping at the "liberal elite and their media water carriers":
Clearly this is a grave insult, and we've got a call in to Jindal's office to see if there will be a reply to this elite glove in the face. If there's one thing politicians of all stripes can agree upon, it's that "elite" is a dirty, filthy word when you're talkin' 'bout a coupla jest-plain-fellas and good ole boys like Jindal and Klein. Certainly Klein's use of it here seems deliberately designed to provoke a reaction.EDITED TO ADD: And now Alec MacGillis of The New Republic -- another Washington elite -- puts in his two cents on Jindal's latest Politico op-ed.
Words Gov. Bobby Jindal uses to describe fellow Republicans in today's Politico column: navel gazing, bedwetting, needs to go to counseling.
What Jindal says fellow Republicans should do: "go kick the other guys around" and "hold fast, get smarter, get disciplined, get on offense, and put on your big boy pants."
Jindal's latest tongue-lashing at his GOP peers reminds them to hold on to their conservative values instead of broadcasting their "embarassing ... public professions of feelings of inadequacy."
"Every day it seems another jilted high-placed Republican in Washington is confessing to the voters; 'It’s not you, it’s me…'," he writes. Jindal tells Republicans to focus their attention on "painting a picture for the American public, particularly for young people, of what a free and prosperous American future will look like with smart conservative policies."
He then lists 30 reasons why Americans will "revolt" against the "nanny state" — because the "left" wants the "government to explode," doesn't care about babies, thinks rich people are evil and that people of faith are stupid.
No word on what the strategy for kicking the other guys around includes, however.
bg keep ya head up keep it real in the cell
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