WTF?

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Elbert Guillory's got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Posted By on Tue, Jun 21, 2016 at 2:23 PM

Former state Sen. Elbert Guillory: "These — are coconuts."
  • Former state Sen. Elbert Guillory: "These — are coconuts."
In a state full of colorful politicians, if you want attention, you've got to stand out from the pack — and former state Sen. Elbert Guillory, who's now running for the 4th Congressional District seat in the U.S. Congress, is one of Louisiana's most reliably colorful candidates.

Last year, he recorded a video in which he used the n-word multiple times in order to "start a dialogue on race" in America (Guillory himself is black). The year before, he appeared on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart to defend the sport of "chicken boxing," which he said definitely was not cockfighting: "I'm not a fan of cockfighting, but I love to go and watch some chicken boxing." In 2013, while defending the Louisiana Science Education Act (which opens the door for teaching creationism in public schools), Guillory captured wide attention for mentioning his positive experience with what sounded like a witch doctor:
If I closed my mind when I saw this man in the dust throwing some bones on the ground, semi-clothed, if I had closed him off and just said, ‘That’s not science, I am not going to see this doctor,’ I would have shut off a very good experience for myself. 
Now Guillory is back with a new video, titled "Coconuts" — and if that allusion escapes you, Elbert Guillory will spell it out, complete with a pair of low-hanging, uh, coconuts as illustration:
These — are coconuts. In Louisiana, when someone has courage, and fortitude, and the ability to stand up when others stand back, we say that she, or he, has coconuts.
It's a metaphor, you see, for a perceived lack of testicular fortitude in our nation's capitol, and ... oh, hell, It's probably best if you just watch the whole thing.

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Friday, May 20, 2016

'Showing their butts': State Rep. Kenny Havard would make a great running mate for Donald Trump

Posted By on Fri, May 20, 2016 at 4:18 PM

Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump, left, and Louisiana state Rep. Kenny Havard, R-Jackson. - TRUMP: CREATIVE COMMONS/GAGE SKIDMORE
  • TRUMP: CREATIVE COMMONS/GAGE SKIDMORE
  • Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump, left, and Louisiana state Rep. Kenny Havard, R-Jackson.
Forget about the potential Supreme Court nominees that Donald Trump served up last week to deflect The New York Times' exposé of his history of objectifying women. It’s time for The Donald to play the ultimate, well, trump card and name his running mate. That would surely cement his victory, the polls notwithstanding.

I’d like to suggest Louisiana state Rep. Kenny Havard, R-Jackson, for that role.

Havard clearly possesses the most important quality that Trump could want in a running mate: He doesn’t give a damn whom he offends.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Bayou St. John fenced off in advance of annual Bayou Boogaloo festival

Posted By on Tue, May 17, 2016 at 5:32 PM

A chainlink fence has been erected on the Moss Street side of Bayou St. John, three days before the annual Bayou Boogaloo neighborhood festival. - KEVIN ALLMAN
  • KEVIN ALLMAN
  • A chainlink fence has been erected on the Moss Street side of Bayou St. John, three days before the annual Bayou Boogaloo neighborhood festival.

The Moss Street side of Bayou St. John in Mid-City was fenced off in advance of this weekend's 11th annual Bayou Boogaloo festival, sparking outrage on the event's Facebook page.  

In response to one person's question, "What is this all about? Looks absolutely terrible," a representative for Bayou Boogaloo replied, "Safety first."

Other signs declare the popular walking/biking path on the Jefferson Davis St. side of the bayou to be closed for seven days — through the Tuesday following the festival.

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Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Jindal evolves on Trump: From "narcissist and egomaniac" to "I would vote for him"

Posted By on Tue, May 3, 2016 at 4:27 PM

jindal_trump.png

Former Gov. (and former presidential candidate) Bobby Jindal once was one of Donald Trump's fiercest foes in the presidential race — but that was then and this is now, when it appears Trump is likely to become the GOP nominee.

Gone from his website is Jindal's much-touted September 2015 speech slamming Trump:

screen_shot_2016-05-03_at_4.06.56_pm.png

... and in is a more pragmatic Jindal.

"If it comes down to a binary choice between Donald Trump, I'm supporting the party's nominee," he told CNN today (as reported by Politico). "I'm not happy about it. I don't think he's the best qualified, I don't think he's the one most likely to be successful, but I would vote for him over Hillary Clinton."

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Canal Street sinkhole driving map, take two

Posted By on Tue, May 3, 2016 at 3:44 PM

Remember the fun we had yesterday trying to make heads or tails of that map issued by the city of New Orleans — the one designed to help drivers navigate around the Canal Street sinkhole regular hole? 

They've got a better one now that answers most of the questions we had:

screen_shot_2016-05-03_at_3.35.02_pm.png

You are now free to move about the foot of Canal Street again. 


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Monday, May 2, 2016

City provides sinkhole driving map for motorists; translation requested

Posted By on Mon, May 2, 2016 at 5:04 PM

By now you know there's a sinkhole regular old hole in the middle of Canal Street right between The Shops at Canal Place and Harrah's New Orleans — an abyss that's going to take 3 to 6 months to repair, according to city officials.

Since this may be a traffic factor until, oh, Halloween, the city has issued the following map to help you get around downtown:

screen_shot_2016-05-02_at_4.39.17_pm.png
We have some questions. Let's break this down.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2016

The New York Times revises its "remote" opinion, albeit tartly

Posted By on Tue, Apr 19, 2016 at 1:25 PM

The cuisine at the remote outpost of Uptown known as Kenton's. - CHERYL GERBER
  • CHERYL GERBER
  • The cuisine at the remote outpost of Uptown known as Kenton's.


Having felt the merciless lash of NOLA Twitter on its pitiful, ink-stained shoulders, frequent New Orleans chronicler The New York Times has revised its opinion of Kenton's, the fancy-ish, new-ish Uptown restaurant run by a pair of NYC expatriates. 

The restaurant's location at Magazine and Nashville streets, originally described in Florence Fabricant's story as a "somewhat remote yet up-and-coming neighborhood west of the Garden District" (you might know it as Uptown), has been changed online:

screen_shot_2016-04-19_at_1.06.43_pm.jpg

Whew
. That was quick. Fortunately, the Public Editor did not need to get involved.

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Monday, April 18, 2016

The New York Times (once again) pisses off New Orleans Twitter

Posted By on Mon, Apr 18, 2016 at 2:32 PM


Artist's conception of the corner of Magazine and Nashville Streets in the "Uptown" area of New Orleans.
  • Artist's conception of the corner of Magazine and Nashville Streets in the "Uptown" area of New Orleans.

The New York Times
loves writing about New Orleans, but the city doesn't always reciprocate the love — particularly when the writer isn't Campbell Robertson or Rick Bragg.

Whether provoked by Kalegate, a snotty dismissal of the Erin Rose's customers as dentally challenged, or a hitherto unknown faubourg of attractive young white people known as "Central City," New Orleans Twitter has been quick to snap back like an alligator, cher, when it feels our unique urban gumbo (aiiieeee!) has been dissed by the Gray Lady. 

So pity poor Florence Fabricant, who visited Kenton's recently and liked it:
A little piece of New York is thriving in New Orleans. Mani Dawes, below right, an owner of Tía Pol in Chelsea, and her husband, Sean Josephs, below left, who owns Maysville in the Flatiron district, have relocated their family to the Big Easy. Easier indeed: Ms. Dawes’s mother is there to help with babysitting. In a somewhat remote yet up-and-coming neighborhood west of the Garden District ...
The problem, as New Orleans Twitter was quick to point out, is that the corner of Magazine and Nashville streets is about as "remote" as the corner of East 86th Street and Third Avenue in Manhattan (and both intersections have a Whole Foods within a block or so). In fact, Magazine and Nashville's remote yet up-and-coming neighborhood already has a name, and it's not UpGarDist or MagNash. It's, well, Uptown.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Legendary Japanese band Hijokaidan to unleash audio assault on New Orleans

Posted By on Wed, Mar 23, 2016 at 4:39 PM

Hijokaidan. L-R: Toshiji Mikawa, JUNKO, JOJO Hiroshige
  • Hijokaidan. L-R: Toshiji Mikawa, JUNKO, JOJO Hiroshige
In the age of piecework, freelancing and independent contractors, it's hard to imagine doing the same thing for thirty-seven years— but that's how long the Osakan band Hijokaidan has been making extreme noise music. After a globe-spanning and decade-spanning career of sonic violence, Hijokaidan is preparing to play their first ever New Orleans show on Wednesday, March 30th, along with a daunting lineup of other improvisational and experimental Japanese acts.

Before I began attending local noise shows, I assumed "noise music" was just clattering Einstürzende Neubauten outtakes— cacophony for its own sake. I was startled by how wrong I was, and remain continually impressed by the breadth of approaches to noise within even our smallish city's smallish scene. Almost any adjective or adjectival combo you can stick in front of the word noise exists. There is silly noise, harsh noise, rhythmic noise, ambient noise, gay Southern witch noise — bands that sound like dance music, bands that sound like guided meditation, bands that sound like those Halloween cassettes from the dollar store. Every noise act seems to inhabit its own subgenre.

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Sunday, March 20, 2016

Review: The Passion — from the French Quarter

Posted By on Sun, Mar 20, 2016 at 11:47 PM

The finale of The Passion in Woldenberg Park. - MATT BRENNAN
  • MATT BRENNAN
  • The finale of The Passion in Woldenberg Park.

"Crucify! Crucify! Crucify!"

As I reached the edge of the crowd at The Passion: Live in Woldenberg Park tonight, the audience's response to Pontius Pilate (Seal) caught me off guard — a scripted moment, I realized a split second later, but nonetheless a strange one to encounter on the banks of the Mississippi in the Year of Our Lord 2016. In this sense, it was emblematic of the entire production, at least as it appeared on the ground in the French Quarter and the CBD: a series of clashing sights and sounds to match the most jarring mashups of Mardi Gras.

I arrived late to the gleaming stage, with the riverboat Natchez as the backdrop, because I'd decided to join the procession of a 20-foot-long illuminated cross — #KreweofJesus, the local Twitterati ribbed — from a point near my apartment on Royal Street. As a band of revelers amassed behind the bearers, a second line without the brass, a chant of "Jesus! Jesus!" went up; meanwhile, a man wearing little more than a Speedo and a blue cape printed with the Savior's face twirled alongside the parade, eliciting expressions of shock from well-to-do diners in the Rib Room. (Seeing him a short time later in Jackson Square, a visitor from Minnesota covered her child's eyes: "Please don't look!")

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