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BAD SANTA (R) -- B Director Terry Zwigoff (Ghost
World) and Golden Globe nominee
Billy Bob Thornton hammer away at this one-note song of a movie about the world's
most morally corrupt Santa and his larcenous, diminutive partner. (Simmons) AMC
Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand
CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN (PG) --
Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt co-star in this loosely remade version of the 1950
family comedy as well as the children's books of the 1940s about a husband and
wife raising a very large family. Co-stars Hilary Duff, Piper Perabo and Missy
Elliott (yes!). Directed by Shawn Levy of Big Fat Liar and Just Married
fame. Opens Thursday in wide release
COLD MOUNTAIN (R) -- B
The Weinstein Brothers double-dog dare you to love Anthony Minghella's (The
English Patient) epic take on Charles Frazier's epic novel. But the Oscar-friendly
trio of Nicole Kidman, Jude Law and Renée "Puffy Face" Zellweger are no match
for John Seale's cinematography or the old-timey music. Brendan Gleeson is a huge
bright spot as the redemptive Stobrod. As episodic as the book was expansive,
Cold Mountain captured eight Golden Globe nominations and will surely be
an Oscar favorite. Of course it will; it's built that way. A movie that's
good in spite of itself. (Simmons) (See cover story in this issue.) Opens Thursday
in wide release
DR. SEUSS' CAT IN THE HAT (PG) --
Mike Myers stars as the mischievous children's-book character in this directing
debut from Bo Welch, featuring makeup by Rick Baker and co-starring Alec Baldwin,
Sean Hayes and Paris Hilton. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace
20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
ELF (PG) -- B-
Jon Favreau directs this silly story of a human orphan raised by Santa's elves
who must now find his way (and his biological father) in the big city. Will Ferrell's
big, hilarious heart (and his mustard-color tights) makes the tissue-paper-thin
tale a real charmer. (Carlson) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace
20, Chalmette
GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS (R) -- C-
Richard Day's drag comedy stars Jack Plotnick, Clinton Leupp, and Jeffery Roberson
as three women in various kinds of crisis, romantic and professional. Fans of
drag outrageousness might be interested in this, I suppose, but I found it crude
and torpifying. (Barton) Canal Place
GOTHIKA (R) --
Halle Berry gets her first solo star billing as a criminal psychologist who suddenly
finds herself the primary suspect in the death of husband Charles S. Dutton. AMC
Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand
THE HAUNTED MANSION (PG) --
First, there was Pirates of the Caribbean; now comes another film based
on a Disney theme-park ride with Eddie Murphy as a man protecting his family from
ghosts. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand,
Hollywood Cinemas 9
HONEY (PG-13) --
When her career as a music video choreographer is compromised by her lascivious
mentor, Jessica Alba decides to open up an inner-city dance studio. Co-stars Mekhi
Pfifer and New Orleans' own Li'l Romeo. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16,
AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
IMAX NUTCRACKER (NR) --
Tchaikovsky's holiday-friendly masterpiece told in 3-D splendor. Entergy IMAX
IN AMERICA (PG-13) --
Writer-director (In the Name of the Father, My Left Foot) presents
this semi-autobiographical story about an Irish family that moves to a New York
City tenement so Dad can pursue his acting career. Stars Samantha Morton (Minority
Report), Paddy Considine and Djimon Hounsou. Ranked eighth-best movie of the
year by the National Board of Review. Canal Place, AMC Palace 20
INTO THE DEEP: 3-D (NR) --
Howard Hall takes a 3-D look at the undersea world. Entergy IMAX
THE LAST SAMURAI (R) -- A Golden Globe nominee
Tom Cruise's newfound dramatic dignity provides the steady center of this stunning
epic film directed by Edward Zwick. Cruise's physical transformation from an alcoholic
Civil War veteran to a formidable samurai warrior is Oscar-worthy. Co-star Ken
Watanabe's wise warlord Katsumoto represents a shattering English-speaking debut.
(Carlson) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Canal Place,
Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
LEWIS AND CLARK (NR) --
The famous explorers' trek West is chronicled in this IMAX film presented by National
Geographic. Entergy IMAX
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (PG-13) -- A-
Director Peter Jackson provides a fitting ending to his groundbreaking trilogy.
Overly long and swimming in narrative and thematic deja vu, Return of the King
is nonetheless redeemed by the strength of the LOTR oeuvre as a whole and by its
own many moments of greatness -- the slow spiritual ascension of Aragorn (Viggo
Mortensen) to the throne of Gondor, the genderless courage of Eowyn (Miranda Otto),
the madness of Denethor the Steward (John Noble). (Carlson) (Reviewed in this
issue.) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand,
Hollywood Cinemas 9, Prytania
LOVE DON'T COST A THING (PG-13) --
Can't Buy Me Love gets the African-American treatment with nerdy Nick Cannon
(Drumline) offering to repair cheerleader Christina Milian's damaged car
if she'll briefly date him to make him look cool. AMC Palace 12, AMC
Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (PG-13) -- B+
Lucky Jack leaps to the big screen in this Peter Weir adaptation of the Patrick
O'Brian novels. A spare script leaves plenty of time for stunning visuals and
fascinating evocations of life aboard a 19th-century British warship. Weir's nearly
flawless directorial eye is aided by the intelligent casting of Golden Globe nominee
Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany (A Beautiful Mind) as friends Jack Aubrey
and Stephen Maturin. A first-rate action-adventure. (Carlson) AMC Palace 12,
AMC Palace 20
THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS (R) --
D The utter mediocrity of the final installment in what was going to be
the greatest sci-fi trilogy ever undercuts the brilliance of all that has come
before. (Carlson) Entergy IMAX
MONA LISA SMILE (PG-13) --
Director Mike Newell (Donnie Brasco) offers an alternative to the testosterone
of Master and Commander and The Last Samurai with Julia Roberts
as a Wellesley teacher who in 1953 teaches other women -- including Julia Stiles,
Kirsten Dunst and Maggie Gyllenhaal -- the importance of womanhood, with music
by women playing in the background. And yes, the Dead Poets Society comparisons
are flying. Co-stars Marcia Gay Harden, Juliet Stevenson, Tori Amos and some men.
AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas
9
MYSTERIES OF EGYPT (NR) --
Omar Sharif narrates this IMAX look at the ancient history and culture of Egypt,
sponsored by National Geographic. Entergy IMAX
PAYCHECK (R) --
No, this is not a bio-pic of country star Johnny Paycheck (would that it were).
Director John Woo (Face-Off) adapts a Philip K. Dick short story about
an engineer who loses his memory (don't all Dick characters?) and finds himself
framed by the company he was working with before his mind went blank. Stars Mr.
Blank Mind himself, Ben Affleck, as well as Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhart, Paul Giamatti,
Colm Feore and Joe Morton. Opens Thursday in wide release
PETER PAN (PG) --
James M. Barrie's much-visited book gets slapped onto the big screen once more
(and for the last time? Please?), with P.J. Hogan (Muriel's Wedding) directing
and a cast that includes Jeremy Sumpter, Jason Isaacs, Lynn Redgrave, Ludivine
Sagnier and Olivia Williams. Opens Thursday in wide release
RUNAWAY JURY (PG-13) -- B
Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman, John Cusack and Rachel Weisz are joined by a fine
supporting cast (including local favorites such as Fahnlohnee Harris, Michael
Arata and Carol Sutton) in this sometimes fun but ultimately tepid John Grisham
story set in New Orleans. (Simmons) AMC Palace 20
SANTA VS. THE SNOWMAN (NR) --
Santa Claus squares off against a jealous snowman in a battle for the North Pole
and, by extension, Christmas itself. Entergy IMAX
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE (PG-13) -- B-
Nancy Meyers (Father of the Bride, Baby Boom) reunites with Diane
Keaton and tosses in Jack Nicholson (both Golden Globe nominees) for a weak romantic
comedy about a cradle-robbing womanizer (Nicholson, playing himself?) falling
in love with a middle-age playwright (Keaton). (Simmons) (Reviewed in this issue.)
AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood
Cinemas 9
THE STATION AGENT (R) -- B+
Writer-director Tom McCarthy's endearing drama features a loner dwarf (Peter Dinklage)
who seems to attract equally isolated people (Patricia Clarkson, Bobby Cannavale)
in a small town. Co-stars Michelle Williams. McCarthy, who apparently wrote the
roles for his lead actors, does a great job of creating space for his characters
to fill in amusing and endearing details about themselves without pandering to
the audience. Though Dinklage and Clarkson do fine work, Cannavale is the surprise
here as a lost puppy of a roadside vendor who befriends Dinklage's Fin whether
he likes it or not. (Simmons) Canal Place
STUCK ON YOU (PG-13) -- B+
The Farrelly Brothers' latest comedy concerns conjoined twins (Matt Damon and
Greg Kinnear) who move to Hollywood when one of the brothers wants to break into
film and television acting. Eschewing their former fondness for gross-out humor,
the Farrellys have made a movie that would appear to be about deformity but is
really about brotherly love. (Barton) (Reviewed in this issue.) AMC Palace
12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
| AMC Palace 12 734-2020; AMC Palace 16 734-2020; AMC Palace 20 734-2020; Canal Place 581-5400; Chalmette 277-9797; Downtown Joy 522-7575; Entergy IMAX 581-4629; Plaza 245-0102; Prytania 891-2787; Zeitgeist 525-2767
Compiled by David Lee Simmons
Contributors: Rick Barton, Shala Carlson, David Lee Simmons |
Other Stories This Week in Movies:
Film Review
Stuck On You
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
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