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Dubious Achievement
Awards
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| Illustration
by Rhett Thiel |
Not Exactly
What You'd Call Horse Sense
In 2001, House Speaker Charlie DeWitt went to bat for
the New Orleans Fair Grounds, sponsoring bills that, had they passed, would
have benefited the track. One bill would have nullified a state Supreme Court
ruling that the Fair Grounds used an illegal formula to divide video-poker money;
two others would have let the track install slot machines. Those actions took
place a few months after DeWitt accepted part ownership of one racehorse --
and before he accepted interest in another -- from New Orleans Fair Grounds
owners Brian and Vickie Krantz. When the DeWitt-Krantz partnership came to light
this year, courtesy Times-Picayune sportswriter Josh Peter, DeWitt said
he didn't think taking the 49 percent interest in the horses was screamingly
unscrupulous, partly because he didn't end up profiting from it (sort of like
saying that accepting a bribe is not wrong if you then lose the cash at craps).
The state Ethics Board fined DeWitt for accepting improper gifts, but cleared
him of doing legislative favors for business partners.
It Seemed Like a Good Day for Racial Stereotypes
The Opelousas police department observed the anniversary
of the Sept. 11 tragedies by staging a simulated terrorist attack in front of
the St. Landry Parish Courthouse, starring a "terrorist" wearing traditional
Middle Eastern garb.
Hold Your Breath, Dear, We're Entering
the Bayou State
Even with Louisiana's traditionally abysmal environmental record,
2003 marked a low point for the state. The year's report is too long to list
here, but here are some highlights: PCS Nitrogen Inc. of Geismar had
to pay a $1.7 million fine, the largest ever imposed in Louisiana for an environmental
crime, for emitting air pollutions for four years without a permit. ... The
nonprofit U.S. Public Interest Research Group rated Louisiana second in the
nation in industrial emissions of dioxin. The same day that report came out,
Louisiana Democratic senators John Breaux and Mary Landrieu voted to
relax parts of the Clean Air Act designed to curb pollution emitted by industrial
plants. ... In one month, a Baton Rouge chemical plant, Honeywell International
Inc. , was responsible for three calamitous accidents that killed one employee
and sent dozens of workers and local residents to the hospital. ... The runoff
candidates for governor, Democratic Lt. Gov. Kathleen Blanco and Republican
Bobby Jindal, both blew off a campaign forum on the environment and failed
to respond to questionnaires from a coalition of environmental organizations.
... The American Lung Association's 2003 "State of the Air" report gave failing
grades for air quality to 15 of the 21 most populous parishes in Louisiana --
including the state capitol parish of East Baton Rouge. ... Baton Rouge Mayor
Bobby Simpson this year came up with some entertaining excuses as to why
that area consistently fails to meet federal clean-air standards. None of his
reasons involved the industries in the area that routinely emit toxic chemicals.
... Finally, the federal Environmental Protection Agency's Inspector General
released a report saying that the EPA's Region 6 office in Dallas provided
insufficient oversight of Louisiana and "could not assure the public that Louisiana
was protecting the environment."
Rubber Robber
On Oct. 27, anti-condom and anti-abortion zealot Bill Graham
-- you might remember him from LAST year's Dubious Achievement Awards -- pleaded
guilty in Jefferson Parish court to the charge of theft of more than $100. He
received a suspended two-year sentence, putting him under the auspices of the
Jefferson Parish probation department. In May 2002, Graham appeared at the Jefferson
Parish Human Services Authority, posing as "Mr. Allen," the director of a busy
high-risk clinic. He drove away with 30,000 Nonoxynol-9 (N-9) condoms from the
state's HIV/AIDS Condom Availability Project, which distributes condoms in order
to stem the spread of disease. On the way home, Graham says, he stopped his
truck and heaved all 30,000 condoms -- 30 boxes worth -- into a dumpster. His
actions were for the public good, Graham says, because condom distribution encourages
risky behavior and N-9 condoms are "toxic." Argues Graham: "I never said I didn't
throw these things away. I do say and continue to say, there was no theft."
He pleaded guilty, he says, "to avoid even the chance of going to jail for this
-- because it's not worth it." State Department of Health and Hospitals spokesperson
Bob Johannessen praises the sentence, saying it "sends a message that even those
who believe they're acting on a higher power have to obey the law."
Fashion Victims
It's rare that a defense attorney has to seek a court order
forcing prosecutors not to poke fun at his teenage client's possible execution.
But that's what the lawyer for Lawrence Jacobs had to do in January when Jefferson
Parish Assistant DAs Cameron Mary and Donnie Rowan showed up at a hearing
in Jacobs' capital murder case, sporting neckties depicting the Grim Reaper
and a hangman's noose. District Attorney Paul Connick, who ordered the two not
to wear the tasteless ties again, said they were Mary and Rowan's idea of a
joke -- albeit a really bad one.
From Hero to Zero In One Year
Legislative auditor Dan Kyle, regarded for 13 years
as the white knight of fiscal accountability for wayward state agencies, employees
and government-funded programs, lost much of his credibility in January by staying
on the job as he publicly mulled a run for governor -- generating suspicion
that the auditor's investigations were politically motivated. Kyle eventually
resigned that post to run for governor, as a Republican who would challenge
big-money GOP incumbents. In August, though, lack of funds forced him out of
the gubernatorial race and into a run for insurance commissioner -- a seat he
ultimately lost to incumbent Democrat Robert Wooley.
Maybe He Was Grading on a Curve?
Asked to grade outgoing Gov. Mike Foster's performance
on jobs and economic development, Rhodes Scholar and heir designee Bobby
Jindal gave his political mentor "a very solid B or B-plus." It was the
highest mark for Foster by more than three dozen candidates informally surveyed
by Gambit Weekly, nearly all of whom gave Foster low grades ranging from
C to F. Jindal also gave Foster a "B" for the environment, a rating that prompted
environmentalists to slap the political wunderkind with the same failing grade
they gave the governor.
Techno-Trash Talking
During city meetings, Mayor Ray Nagin's aides impressed
onlookers with their tireless work ethic and commitment to a technologically
driven City Hall, as they clacked away on their hand-held BlackBerry devices.
What everyone later learned was that the devices were being used as modern-day
slam books, in which top city officials gleefully dissed then-Chief Administrative
Officer Kimberly Williamson Butler (known as "the bitch" in BlackBerry parlance)
in "real time" instant messages. Butler parted company with the administration
in bitter terms this spring (she says she was canned; Nagin says he asked for
her resignation) and quicker than you could hit "send," transcripts of purported
BlackBerry messages between Nagin staffers found their way into the public domain.
Butler went on to win election as clerk of Criminal District Court.
Would You Admit To Being Pals With
This Guy?
Jefferson Parish Judge Ronald Bodenheimer pleaded guilty
to felonies he'd long denied, establishing himself as the center of a house
of cards that fell in 2003. Bodenheimer admitted he conspired to plant drugs
on a critic of a marina he owns, and tried to rig a child-custody case in restaurateur
Al Copeland's favor so he could obtain lucrative seafood contracts. Bodenheimer
also said he lowered or split bonds with bail-bond king Louis Marcotte III,
maximizing profits in exchange for gifts and services. The disgraced judge awaits
sentencing.
Those who tangoed with Bodenheimer also went down: Slidell
mechanic Curley Chewning served a six-month halfway-house sentence after
fessing up that he planted the drugs for Bodenheimer; Bryan White, Copeland's
attorney, admitted he knew about the conspiracy to fix the custody case, and
got a year-long jail term; Philip Demma, a former Juvenile Court
officer and reserve sheriff's deputy, pleaded guilty to his role in the plot
to rig the custody suit, and got two years in the federal pen.
As for the millionaire restaurateur, a federal judge denied
Al Copeland's request to halt his ex-wife's lawsuit against him until the feds
finish investigating him as part of their corruption probe at the Jefferson
Parish Courthouse. Copeland's ex, Luan Hunter, got permission to proceed with
her suit and to question Copeland under oath about his knowledge of the plot
to fix the custody case. Copeland is expected to invoke the Fifth Amendment
during such questioning, as he has done since news of the conspiracy broke.
Like Copeland, Louis Marcotte remains under federal investigation but has not
been charged with a crime.
Bench Marks
2003 was another banner year for judicial offenses. The state
Supreme Court booted Orleans Parish Civil District Judge C. Hunter King off
the bench after he admitted he forced staffers to work on his 2002 campaign
during work hours, then lied about it under oath, twice, to the state Judiciary
Commission. Then there was Orleans Parish Juvenile Court Judge Yvonne
Hughes, whom the Judiciary Commission suspended for a laundry list of transgressions
that included keeping a chaotic courtroom, releasing more than 1,000 arrested
adults over two years, holding court by telephone, and hiring a slew of ex-cons
as court employees. Not only did the Judiciary Commission recommend the high
court give Hughes the heave-ho, but it also suggested she be disbarred, saying
her misconduct dated back to her career as a lawyer. Hughes' fate is, as yet,
undecided.
Wait Until You See What He's Got for Mardi
Gras
State District Judge Timothy C. Ellender
of Terrebonne Parish sported a Halloween "inmate" costume that featured dark
makeup, an Afro wig, a prison jumpsuit, and shackles. Ellender's costume --
a harmless gag, he said later -- drew the wrath of the National Association
for the Advancement of Colored People, which planned to review Ellender's rulings
on black defendants.
Look At The Bright Side: The Evidence Room
Is Really Spotless
The massive 2001 cleanup and reorganization of the New Orleans
Police Department Central Evidence and Property Room certainly spiffed up the
place -- at the expense of more than 100 rape and murder cases, which became
virtually unsolvable after officers discarded such key pieces of evidence as
DNA samples, weapons, doctors' reports and other documents. The purge came to
light early in 2003 when it was revealed that key evidence was missing in some
open cases. Two police captains, Michael Sauter and Michael Pfeiffer,
were suspended for their roles in the cleanup.
Other Stories This Week in Features:
Cover Story
2003 in Review
Passings
Local Skirmishes
What's New
Feature
Sky's the Limit
A Tale of Two Seasons
The Year in Music
Trade Off
Blake Pontchartrain™
New Orleans Know-It-All
Shoptalk
Head-turning Business
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