21 GRAMS (R) --
The lives of recovering drug addict Naomi Watts, dying math professor Sean Penn and religious ex-con Benicio Del Toro intersect after a car crash in this film from intersecting-lives/car crash director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Amores Perros). AMC Palace 20, Canal Place
BAD SANTA (R) -- B Director Terry Zwigoff (Ghost World) and
Billy Bob Thornton hammer away at this one-note song of a movie about the world's most morally corrupt Santa and his larcenous, diminutive partner. (Simmons) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand
BROTHER BEAR (G) --
Animated film about a Native American who is transformed into a bear. Directed by Aaron Blaise and Robert Walker and starring the voices of Jonathan Winters, Victoria Jackson and Ben Stein. AMC Palace 20
CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN (PG) --
Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt co-star in this loosely remade version of the 1950 family comedy (as well as the children's books of the 1940s) about a husband and wife raising a very large family. Co-stars Hilary Duff, Piper Perabo and Missy Elliott. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
COLD MOUNTAIN (R) -- B
The Weinstein Brothers double-dog dare you to love Anthony Minghella's (The English Patient) epic take on Charles Frazier's epic novel. But the Oscar-friendly trio of Nicole Kidman, Jude Law and Renée "Puffy Face" Zellweger are no match for John Seale's cinematography or the old-timey music. Brendan Gleeson is a huge bright spot as the redemptive Stobrod. (Simmons) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
DR. SEUSS' CAT IN THE HAT (PG) --
Mike Myers stars as the mischievous children's-book character in this directing debut from Bo Welch, featuring makeup by Rick Baker and co-starring Alec Baldwin, Sean Hayes and Paris Hilton. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
ELF (PG) -- B-
Jon Favreau directs this silly story of a human orphan raised by Santa's elves who must now find his way (and his biological father) in the big city. Will Ferrell's big, hilarious heart (and his mustard-color tights) makes the tissue-paper-thin tale a real charmer. (Carlson) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Hollywood Cinemas 9
GOTHIKA (R) --
Halle Berry gets her first solo star billing as a criminal psychologist who suddenly finds herself the primary suspect in the death of husband Charles S. Dutton. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand
THE HAUNTED MANSION (PG) --
First, there was Pirates of the Caribbean; now comes another film based on a Disney theme-park ride with Eddie Murphy as a man protecting his family from ghosts. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
HONEY (PG-13) --
When her career as a music video choreographer is compromised by her lascivious mentor, Jessica Alba decides to open up an inner-city dance studio. Co-stars Mekhi Pfifer and New Orleans' own Li'l Romeo. AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG (R) --
Alcoholic widow Jennifer Connelly fights to regain the California house lost to Iranian immigrant Ben Kingsley in this metaphorical struggle for home based on Andre Dubus III's popular novel. Directed by first-timer Vadim Perelman. AMC Palace 20, Canal Place
IMAX NUTCRACKER (NR) --
Tchaikovsky's holiday-friendly masterpiece told in 3-D splendor. Entergy IMAX
IN AMERICA (PG-13) --
Writer-director (In the Name of the Father, My Left Foot) presents this semi-autobiographical story about an Irish family that moves to a New York City tenement so Dad can pursue his acting career. Stars Samantha Morton, Paddy Considine and Djimon Hounsou. Canal Place, AMC Palace 20
INTO THE DEEP: 3-D (NR) --
Howard Hall takes a 3-D look at the undersea world. Entergy IMAX
THE LAST SAMURAI (R) -- A
Tom Cruise's newfound dramatic dignity provides the steady center of this stunning epic film directed by Edward Zwick. Cruise's physical transformation from an alcoholic Civil War veteran to a formidable samurai warrior is Oscar-worthy. Co-star Ken Watanabe's wise warlord Katsumoto represents a shattering English-speaking debut. (Carlson) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Canal Place, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (PG-13) -- A-
Director Peter Jackson provides a fitting ending to his groundbreaking trilogy. Overly long and swimming in narrative and thematic deja vu, Return of the King is nonetheless redeemed by the strength of the LOTR oeuvre as a whole and by its own many moments of greatness. (Carlson) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9, Prytania
LOVE DON'T COST A THING (PG-13) --
Can't Buy Me Love gets the African-American treatment with nerdy Nick Cannon (Drumline) offering to repair cheerleader Christina Milian's damaged car if she'll briefly date him to make him look cool. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, Chalmette, Grand
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (PG-13) -- B+
Lucky Jack leaps to the big screen in this Peter Weir adaptation of the Patrick O'Brian novels. A spare script leaves plenty of time for stunning visuals and fascinating evocations of life aboard a 19th-century British warship. Weir's nearly flawless directorial eye is aided by the intelligent casting of Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany (A Beautiful Mind) as friends Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin. A first-rate action-adventure. (Carlson) AMC Palace 20
MONA LISA SMILE (PG-13) --
Director Mike Newell (Donnie Brasco) offers an alternative to the testosterone of Master and Commander and The Last Samurai with Julia Roberts as a Wellesley teacher who in 1953 teaches other women -- including Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst and Maggie Gyllenhaal -- the importance of womanhood, with music by women playing in the background. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
PAYCHECK (R) --
Director John Woo (Face-Off) adapts a Philip K. Dick short story about an engineer who loses his memory (don't all Dick characters?) and finds himself framed by the company he was working with before his mind went blank. Stars Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhart and Paul Giamatti. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
PETER PAN (PG) --
James M. Barrie's much-visited book makes it the way the big screen once more, with P.J. Hogan (Muriel's Wedding) directing and a cast that includes Jeremy Sumpter, Jason Isaacs, Lynn Redgrave, Ludivine Sagnier and Olivia Williams. AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE (PG-13) -- B-
Nancy Meyers (Baby Boom) reunites with Diane Keaton and tosses in Jack Nicholson for a weak romantic comedy about a cradle-robbing womanizer (Nicholson) falling in love with a middle-age playwright (Keaton). (Simmons) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette, Grand, Hollywood Cinemas 9
STUCK ON YOU (PG-13) -- B+
The Farrelly Brothers' latest comedy concerns conjoined twins (Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear) who move to Hollywood when one of the brothers wants to break into film and television acting. (Barton) AMC Palace 12, AMC Palace 16, AMC Palace 20, Chalmette
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AMC Palace 12 734-2020; AMC Palace 16 734-2020; AMC Palace 20 734-2020; Canal Place 363-1117; Chalmette 277-9766; Entergy IMAX 581-4629; The Grand 240-4100; Hollywood Cinemas 9 464-0990; Prytania 891-2787; Zeitgeist 525-2767
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(Editor's Note: Listings information is confirmed through Thursday unless otherwise listed. For showtimes, visit the movies section of our Web site at www.bestofneworleans.com.)
Contributors: Rick Barton, Shala Carlson, David Lee Simmons
Compiled by David Lee Simmons
