Well, Brees can take care of this quite handily, $3 tip for ringing up a takeout order. Simply start a Jimmy-John's Sandwich across the street form the shop that complained. That way, he won't have to tip at all when he comes into his own shop to pick up sandwiches, most likely won't even have to pay, just sign a slip and go. Next.
He should be met at the airport with the New Orleans Olympic Band playing some sort of death march, slow, and sad, then before he gets out of the airport, shift to playing "taps" played on a lone trumpet.
All income taxes should be eliminated. There should be a consumption tax collected at point of sale of 10% Federal, 5% State, & 2.5% county/city split tax for a total of 17.5% with the tax on all "new" items. Used items, all items totally made in the U.S.A., and all items purchased by any member of the active military should be 50% less tax collected at the point of sale. Those on food stamps/ w.i.c./ and etc. should pay 0% on any food item. Those one Medicare/Medicaid & Veterans Hospitalization policies should pay 0% on any Rx's and medical equipment recommended by a physician. The IRS should be directed to be an investigative agency instead of a leaching agency and investigate all under the table cash transactions for being within tolerance of all cash transactions and trading work for goods and other services should also be investigated and kept within tolerance as set forth by the governments involved.
It would be nice to get the name Jazz back as what good is that name to a Utah team? Maybe we could help them rename their team, Utah Salt or The Salt Lake Temples or Utah Purple Mountains. However, since Hurricane Katrina, everyone has heard of the 9th Ward, so why not build the practice facility down there? The land is cheap since they knocked down all the houses; and call them the "The 9th Ward Shooters" as that's as good or better than the New Orleans Bounce.
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