What's more ridiculous than Gov. Bobby Jindal's campaign for president? Answer: Bobby Jindal's "Farewell Tour" of Louisiana, now playing in a half-filled auditorium near you.
The notion of Jindal doing a farewell tour of the state he has ignored for most of the past eight years is beyond preposterous. It's beyond Orwellian, even for a master of doublespeak like Jindal.
Truth is Jindal bid farewell to Louisiana long ago. He traded our future for his delusional ambitions when he convinced himself he could be taken seriously as a presidential candidate.
As a result, he focused his attention on Des Moines rather than on Des Allemands. He courted crowds in Davenport when he should have kept clinics open in Shreveport. He hustled voters in Newton when he should have helped families in New Orleans.
He also presided over the nation's largest cuts to public higher education and had the gall to call himself a Christian while denying affordable health insurance to hundreds of thousands of the working poor. As recently as last week, as part of his tour, he said he wished he could have cut higher education even more, saying, "I think it is better to reduce the size of government."
That statement speaks volumes about the totality of Jindal's break from reality: He equates public universities with big government. It also shows how insincere he is, for if Jindal truly wanted to "reduce the size of government" he could have laid off dozens of indolent, overpaid staffers. He could have refused to bilk Louisiana taxpayers for the cost of his State Police security detail while campaigning in Iowa. Heck, he could have returned the salary we paid him for the past six months while he wasn't doing his job.
For all that, he doesn't get to tour the state now, like some conquering hero, telling us more lies about his so-called accomplishments. To do so is insulting — to every citizen whose trust he betrayed, every college student whose future he short-changed, every coastal community he sold out to Big Oil, and every struggling family to whom he denied affordable health insurance.
In fact, "insulting" is too gentle a word to describe Jindal's final conceit. Instead, the governor's self-serving curtain call should be dubbed his "F--- You!" Tour. That's what he's really telling the people of Louisiana. After eight years of unprecedented fiscal irresponsibility, after eight years of putting personal ambition ahead of the public good, callously indifferent ideology ahead of common sense, talking points ahead of truth and transparency, Bobby Jindal is flipping us off one last time before he finally does something required of him under our constitution: leave office.
There is one shred of justice in all this, however: Louisiana voters continue to give Jindal the lowest approval rating of any governor in America — near 20 percent — which amounts to the people telling him, once and for all, "F--- YOU, Bobby Jindal!"
Now that's a curtain call worth seeing.