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Grenadine McGunkle's Double-Wide Christmas 

7 p.m. Fri.-Sat., Dec. 5-6; through Dec. 21

One Eyed Jacks, 615 Toulouse St., 606-9903;

A Bing Crosby Christmas this ain't. The holidays are coming, which means Grenadine McGunkle, empress of the Everlasting Arms Motor Park, is prepping for her famed interfaith Christmas Eve potluck. Beyond the Jell-O fruit salad and merry-making, mysterious questions loom large. When Crystal passes out at Applebee's, guests are left to wonder about the identity of her baby's daddy. And who is sending out anonymous gifts like Mascara for Dummies and a pair of holiday hotpants? Holiday mayhem and trailer park hijinks abound as Grenadine and her neighbors offer a sparkling and campy musical extravaganza, full of Jerry Springer-worthy drama and heavy-handed hairspray. The opening night performance is sponsored by the Mystic Krewe of Satyricon. Call 525-4498 for tickets to that show only. Tickets $20. — Anna Marschalk-Burns

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